My goal is to not see or talk to another human being the entire time and to otherwise do nothing.  My careers all involve frequent, intense and intimate contact with other people and I used to call this trip my “People Fast.”   We go without food to cleanse our system, well, I go without people to cleanse mine.

I can watch the sun set into the ocean from my tent – and I’ve watched the moon set on many occasions.  I’ve been there for electrical storms and breathlessly magnificent starry nights.

My heartbeat and body rhythms slowly begin to align with the rhythms of the planet (a stark contrast to my “normal” life which has been in big cities – NYC and LA – for the past 35 years.)

Here I come to feel the movement of the waves and the movement from day to night to day again, and the changing movements of animals during those shifts.

There are two main questions that I am asked almost immediately after telling anyone that I take these solo trips in nature.  “Aren’t you scared?” And “What do you DO??” (often asked with a combination of amazement & horror.)

To answer the first question, I used to say, “Hey, I’m a New Yorker, compared to NYC – this is mother’s womb!” but that was really a bit of posturing.

I had grown up in the woods, and retreating into nature with no one around was the only privacy I ever knew growing up, but I never felt alone.  I loved the company of the trees and some animals.  There was a safety and absorbent strength in those woods.

I loved the sound of wind in trees (still a favorite.)  That, to me, says “safety” like nothing else.  So, no, I’m not scared.   (Plus I take a bullwhip with me that makes a real loud crack that can scare off any raccoon, bear, or person if need be. Insert smiley face here.)

But the most fervent question comes from my city-dwelling friends – “What do you DO that whole time??”  “How do you spend your day?”  “It must seem like forever!”

And whenever someone asks me what I do, a typical response from me would be: “I don’t know … but those 8 days go by like 8 minutes.”

It’s true.  In some ways my time there is timeless, but in a very real way, it’s over almost immediately.  I never get over that.

When others hear this, some assume I’ve gone into some kind of trance – and maybe I have.  My senses are entranced with slightly different things each time I go.

Once the entire place was consumed in a cold sea fog the whole time, so the privacy & stillness was mystical.

Usually, I’m consumed by the movements of the ocean, the sky, the trees in the wind, the animals, the hawks flying over me and the little creatures scurrying about below, the movement of the sun in the sky, or the clouds – and especially how the wind ripples through this golden grass covering the hillside outside my tent.

I could watch that all day.  And I guess I do.  It’s a natural form of meditation.

I recently had to work with newborn babies (and the last baby I’d handled is now 16 years old so I had forgotten what to do or what it was like.)  And in holding that little life and looking down at it – I was amazed at how the baby sucked me in and I was drawn into this world of … baby… love … life.  (I call it a “baby meditation”.)

Well, on my hill, I guess I’m doing an ocean-sky-wind-grass-movement-of-sights-and-sounds meditation.  And my thoughts which at first are chewing on whatever issues have been arising in my life, by day 2 & 3, I’ve gotten insights of wisdom about it all – as well as new ideas & inspirations.

And by days 4-5, my thoughts are waves like the ocean – i.e. something arises and drops away – and I just enjoy the movement and don’t get attached to the content.

So now this is sounding like I’m doing a lot on this hill – but no, this is activity that just happens - when I do nothing.

And I don’t hike or leave the area around my tent.  Maybe once every other day, I walk the 1000 meters down to where the Pacific Ocean comes crashing onto the bluffs – a totally different experience – exciting, dramatic, loud, windy, cooler than my nest atop the mountain.  But otherwise I’m staying within 20-30 feet of my tent with this splendid view and sensory array.

The hike down to the ocean (which I might do 3-4 times in 8 days) –  would be the only thing I could say that I do during the whole 8 days.

I’m not allowed to have a fire – so I don’t build one.  I don’t eat much since I’m not moving much.  I don’t bring a computer or books or music.  Pets are not allowed.  It’s just me – and my thoughts – or lack of them, if it all goes well.

I do have a cell phone for an emergency – but I do not talk to any human being – that’s actually a big deal for me on these trips.  The need for no human contact is as strong as the need to submerge myself into nature.

So while I’m doing nothing – stuff is happening – this cleansing (“people fast”) and a quenching (with the nourishing rhythm of nature.)  I don’t do it, I just allow it to happen.

I’m not sure I know a more efficient way of allowing that stuff to naturally happen – every other way I can think of is either too much effort or too expensive.

So “doing nothing” – allows me to get distant from “doing” and a greater view & presence arises (that the business of doing can obscure.)

I become so present that towards the end of my 8 days, I cannot imagine ever living any other way than I am right at that moment.

These camping trips are a key ingredient to my presence, happiness & tolerance levels for the rest of the year.

Doing nothing in this way is one of the most fulfilling experiences I can imagine.  It’s a very rich “do nothing.”

Technorati Tags: calming the mind, camping, developing equanimity, developing equanimity and impartiality, developing patience, developing sensory clarity, do nothing, equanimity, meditation, mindfulness, nature, retreat, Shinzen Young, solitude, stephanie nash, vacation

I didn’t want to miss a drop and was front row center (or rather right beside him recording him) 3-5 times a day for 30 days, and I was learning amazing things every day.  I was examining my sensory experience and learning to understand how my experience would be described with his scientific vocabulary.  I was also exploring every possible strategy he presented.  (I believe I was planning to be enlightened by Week 3.  It took this all very seriously.)

But here on Week 2, Shinzen was going to coach runners at some god-awful hour in the morning for a “Running Meditation.”  He had talked about it at a dharma talk a night earlier, and I simply had to master everything he presented.  So, damn it, was I going to have to get up and run?

The runners would run around the grounds of the lovely Montecito retreat center, and then could “stop in” to get instructions from Shinzen who was stationed at one point on the loop.  It was like going to the coach for a quick strategy about whatever was coming up.  If you were approaching Shinzen and he was talking to someone else, you were to keep running and catch him on the next lap.

Let me state here that I’m not a morning person, and the notion of getting up at 5am was relatively obscene, but to get up and then run at that hour….seemed about as appealing as acid indigestion – but did I mention I had an ambitious schedule?  I mean, this was like 5-6 days before I expected to pop into full enlightenment – I wasn’t passing on anything.  I had to know all the secrets – including this secret of how to make running into a powerful meditation.

I was there without caffeine but determined to learn whatever lesson we’d be learning here.  Before we started, Shinzen told us all to not look up – at the view or each other – and to keep our focus on body sensations – and we were off.  A lap was about 1/3 mile – maybe more.

Of course during my first 3 laps, someone else was always talking with Shinzen so I kept going – not sure of how many laps I had in me – especially before the friggin sun came up.

Then as I came up over the hill (and I was muttering to myself after passing Shinzen for the 3rd time), I saw before me a beautiful vision.  I arrived at the perfect spot the exact moment the sun broke open and the ocean could be seen in the distance.  The light & clouds were a wonderful, rich kiss from a spiritual mom blessing the day.

Wait a minute, Shinzen said to not look up.  But not look up at this??  How could that ever be the optimal option?  This view was God saying “Hey, look at this!”  To not look and appreciate is sacrilegious!  Surely Shinzen doesn’t understand or appreciate the beauty of nature like those of us who climb mountains just to be up there to get the view when the sun sets.  Yes, he’s wrong in this case.  This is an exception to the “don’t look up no matter what” rule.  All rules have exceptions.

And I did worse than just look, I stopped and looked.  I drank it in.  God said, “Lookey!” and I did – with much gratitude.  I was enriched, fulfilled … and guilty that I broke the rules of our Running Meditation.  I pulled myself away from the magic sunrise, and a rehearsal began in my head.

I had to defend my view – there had to be exceptions.  Yes, I do have a preference for beauty and that is good and true and, well, I think it’s God!  (My notion of “God” at that time was in a state of transition …. well, actually it’s been in a state of transformation since I was 4 years old, a topic to be visited anon.)

So after rehearsing how I would present my findings to Shinzen, I came around the bottom of the bend and looked ahead and sure enough, Shinzen was free.  I pulled over.

“You know, I get the focus on body sensations & the movement of the body – I’ve done that for years with acting,” I said while panting, but with a jocky confidence,  ”and it’s nice & fine and everything – but I have a question.”

Okay, I’ve got to state my case strongly, “When I got to the top of the hill there was one of the most beautiful sunrises I’d ever seen, and yes, I looked at it – I think that’s God – and I should look at it – not at the road.”  Yeah, okay, I might have sounded a bit defensive, but I made my point.

I awaited his response.  I was ready for him to acknowledge the truth of what I said.  That’s not what happened.

“It’s the same thing.  The road and the sunset.  At some point you’ll experience that.”  And then he went on to talk of the value of keeping your awareness on something to develop concentration and equanimity, but I was still re-playing his words, “the same thing.”  The same thing?!   I think NOT!

I mean really, how do you compare a concrete road to that sunset?  I stopped running after the next lap and walked to my room to shower  as I mulled this over.  If I was going to have to see concrete & sunset as the same thing before I was enlightened – I was re-thinking the whole enlightenment thing.  This was a hugely disappointing prospect.  (Similar to when I first heard that Mother Theresa washed the feet of lepers – no thank you!  Some common sense please.)

I think it was about a year later, and yeah, alot more truly significant “stuff” happened  at that retreat and thereafter.  I was back in Santa Monica, finishing my sunset walk in a park over the ocean.  Sunset has always been a big deal for me, and to have it over the Pacific Ocean was such a fantasy when I was growing up  in Ohio,  that this reality never gets old.

The sunset on this night was a rich spectacular and beautiful display.  Hundreds of people were watching it along the coastline, and started walking away after the sun disappeared.  They chatted as if they’d just seen a good movie.

I was quite “tuned in” as my walks are always a mindfulness meditation practice for me, and I felt the flavors of satisfaction & joy in my body from having feasted on the display in the Western sky.

It was getting dark and time to pull away from Nature’s Best Exit Strategy and I started to walk north.  As I walked, I continued to glance over my right shoulder at the sunset, and at one point, I looked at the streetlights, buildings, cars & pavement in the intersection ahead on my left.  I stopped as I realized the truth of my perception.

It occurred to me in that moment, that both views were the same thing!  They were, in essence, the same.  The view to my right and the view to my left both created the same experience for me (something like love & appreciation) and something … some objective criteria that used to distinguish them from each other for me … was gone.

Yes, of course, I still knew how to identify what I was seeing – a sunset and an intersection – but they were both sensory experience – primarily visual & somatic – and while they were different colors and textures – they were indeed the same.  Just like Shinzen said!  Darn it all if he wasn’t right!  So this is what he was talking about!

Yes, I see, there really is no way to describe it – because you are limited to words and language – and concepts – and whatever people are capable of conceiving.  Even though the exact words I now thought of to describe this were the exact same words Shinzen used – his words didn’t lead me here – and, in fact, confused & disappointed me.   (As I write this now, I shrug & sigh – and smile – at the plight of the teacher.)

It was the commitment to the practice that, over time, slowly wore away at my previously fixated perceptions, and this was simply the moment that I noticed it.

I continued my walk feeling a familiar huge surge of gratitude to have such access to such a teacher.  And, yes, I enjoyed the rest of the walk home in a new way.  Appreciating perception anew.  Enjoying the view – and the concrete.

Technorati Tags: insight, mindfulness, mindfulness meditation, mindfulness strategies, running, Shinzen Young, stephanie nash, vipassana

I’d done this before but on my own I don’t usually veer toward the  ”May I be happy” phrases – just not my thing.  (The classic happy face always comes to mind. )

Don’t get me wrong,  as a meditation teacher, I absolutely feel that my job is to help people experience “happiness independent of condition”  - so I can hardly poo-poo people saying phrases about being happy.  I guess, it’s just that prefer to describe it as feeling “good”, at ease, fulfilled (although I do lead one mean laughing meditation – so I’m definitely into being happy – I just tend to prefer different means of getting there than saying phrases about it.)

But this time it was different – mostly because of how I approached it.

Also, I appreciated a part of Sharon’s instruction – i.e. that by saying “May I …” you were not asking permission – but was, rather, like a greeting card – the way you’d say, “May you have a great year!”  I liked that.  It was wishing the best for someone.  It tapped into a natural generosity.  It made it lighter and  opened it up a bit.  Really made it a gift.

So our assignment was to go outside (on a lovely day in Southern California) and not give total attention to these phrases, rather we were to walk and see the world, be in it, and then allow about 10-30% (can’t remember the exact % she gave) of our awareness to focus on 2 phrases, “May I be happy” and “May I live with ease.”    That’s it.  (Plus there was another part to the instruction which I’ll share in a moment.)

So out we went, and I took my time, saying, “May I be happy” – remembering the greeting-card-wish quality to it (which made it much more enjoyable.)  I got the pleasure of wishing something lovely to someone – and I got to receive it.  It was nice.  But then I also had to stop to notice in that moment, “Am I happy?  Am I, in this moment, happy?  How happy am I?”

And I thought of how I’d been taught in the Native American tradition of the Red Road to “not cross my prayers.”  In Indian ceremonies we pray – to Tunkashila, Wakan Tanka (the Great Spirit) – and when we emerge from the womb of the sweatlodge, some leaders may say “Now, don’t cross your prayers” – which means, for example, if you prayed for harmony in your home, don’t go home and pick a fight with your husband.  That would be crossing your prayers.

So here I was wishing something (which felt akin to praying) and I wondered in that moment if I was indeed happy and if I wasn’t as happy as I could be – was I doing anything to “cross my prayers”?  Even very subtly?

I examined my experience in that moment.

Well, my facial expression might not be crossing my prayers, but it was’t helping further the wish (or prayer) -so I put on a big smile and felt the shift.  (I confess that teach this in my Laugh for Inner Fitness Work, and it can be immediately effective if committed to.)

And I thought of how I physically felt when I was beaming in happiness (in my chest, face & body) and opened to the possibility of that direction – it was almost as if I’d opened a window or door and let the air flow into a vacuum.  Darned if a pleasant full rich energy didn’t start filling the areas I’d identified as usually having something going on when I was really happy – as my smile became quite genuine.

So whether I was “uncrossing” whatever had been crossed, or simply opening to a different possibility in any moment, there was an intention – inspired by the words I was speaking.  I wanted to speak them truthfully – with a truthful intention – and  I wanted to receive them authentically.   “May I be happy.”   Thank you, yes I am.

I could work with this.

My physical & emotional experience had done a huge shift, then I tuned into my visual experience and looked around me to  see what I could appreciate  - green grass, smiling or deeply contemplative people all doing their version of what I was doing, children playing softball, coaches fervently guiding – plus that lovely breeze created a lovely movement in the trees  - yeah, good stuff, this was raising the happiness level even higher – far more than I’d expected or intended.   “May I be happy.”

Now, let me say this second phrase, “May I live with ease.”  Okay, some examination – was I “crossing my prayer” here?  Was I, in any way, not living with ease in that moment?

Well, (once again first checking physically), I could relax my body a bit, I noticed a few places of subtle holding or tension (like my jaw or neck) and I released them as I gently lengthened my spine, allowed my head to be balanced atop it instead of thrust forward out of habit.  Oh, that was so much easier and released my neck – how nice.  And why wasn’t I doing that before, oh yes, “May I live with ease.”

This was feeling good.  I was definitely feeling more ease.  Okay, so I’m happier and feeling more ease.  ”May I be happy.  May I live with ease.”  (And may I not cross my prayers.)

I became inspired to dig even deeper with my Prayer De-Crossing meter to see if there was anything else keeping me from experiencing happiness & ease in that moment – and sure enough there was a thought hovering around in the background – something I was dealing with – and it definitely wasn’t creating happiness or ease.

Ah, that’s a little prayer crossing there, isn’t it?  Ok, I told myself to let it go (in my newly appointed role as Prayer Crossing Checker) and was a bit surprised at how easy it was to do.  The thought popped like a bubble, and I was more present, lighter, happer, and yes, felt more ease.  This strategy is working.

I continued my walk, noticing the trees, the grace, the softball game happening on the other side of the fence, the other meditators walking around saying the same phrases to themselves.

And here’s where the 2nd part of Sharon’s instruction came in.  She said to say these phrases (again, only giving a small portion of our awareness to them), but if at any given moment we felt our awareness be totally pulled to something or someone – like a person, a car, a dog (and I’ll insert here – a softball player) – to say, “And may you be happy!”

And this is where it got really fun.

So here I was, walking around, seeing the world, smiling, keeping my spine balanced & allowing the rest of my body to relax, letting go of anything that “crossed my prayers” as I wished happiness & ease to myself.   I was wishing it to myself and feeling it.

And then I started allowing my awareness to land on people, kids playing ball, trees, dogs, cars and with all this happy energy, I’d say, “And may YOU be happy!”   I felt like I was throwing gifts or candy from a parade float, or I was Glinda and with my wand, I’d wish happiness to all and imagine them transformed by it.  What joy.  What fun.  Generosity is truly a good time.

(And imagine a free, casual, authentic “why not”-ness to the tone of voice.  It’s easy & fun – and a new idea each time.  You see someone an it occurrs to you to wish then to be happy – and you do so with a grand gesture – almost like a happy drunk but drunk on a different juice.  I wished both softball teams to be happy & giggled at how I could be on both sides.  And yes, I left alot of happy trees along that block, too.)

And this reminded me very much of making my prayer ties before my vision quest.  In the Native American tradition, before doing bigger ceremonies like Vision Quest or Sundance, one makes prayer ties, which involves taking a bit of tobacco, purifying it in sage, wrapping it into a cloth and tying it onto a long continuous string about 3 inches from the previous one – until one has 200-400 prayer ties (depending on the specific instructions given by that spiritual leader.)  That’s 200-400 prayers.  That’s ALOT of prayers!  It can take days.

Think of everything and everyone you’d ever want to pray for – from your loved ones, to friends, to the dolphins & whales, to world peace.  And you pray honestly for them.  It feels like contributing, like giving blessings.  And it also brings their well-being into your ceremony –   a beautiful thing.

But even after all those prayers, you’ve probably got 100 more prayer ties to do!   So…. then you start praying for anything you can think of and yes, even people you don’t like – even politicians you disagree with, relatives you can’t forgive.  That making of prayer ties is probably the best preparation for any ceremony – the “self” becomes much less solid and the heart expands in a grounded way.  You feel the “relatedness” of all living beings referred to in the Lakota blessing/greeting “Mitakuye Oyasin”  (“For All My Relations = a blessing for all living things with the understanding that we’re all related.)

And here, in this 20 minute walk, I got to revisit that prayer-tie preparation depth of well-being, open-heartedness, and connection (or “relatedness”) – with that free, almost childlike generosity and  a more mature forgiveness & willingness to let go of anything (that “crosses my prayers.”)

In the weeks since this loving kindness workshop, I wanted to incorporate this into my meditation classes, but I teach in a small space not set up for walking meditation and my class isn’t long enough to take walking breaks –  so I adapted this to saying the first two phrases to yourself (while sitting in meditation) and then, if the mind lands on any thought that involves a person or group of people or animal or any living being  - to say, “And may you be happy!”

We typically cannot control the topic of our thinking any more than where our eyes land as we walk – and many have reported a surprising delight & lightness in this – because most loving kindness practice involves deliberate focus on specific people – not just allowing the mind to go where it will and wish whatever comes up to be happy.  It’s a nice habit to develop.

It’s really a wonderful practice – that can be done as getting out of the car and walking into the grocery store – or while shopping.  I’ve even had a couple students tape notes in their car – so their relationship to driving and other drivers is more compassionate.  (Here in LA, we spend alot of time in cars so that whenever one can make that into a meditation or especially a loving kindness meditation – the reward can be rich.)

This was a long story, but I hope it’s a helpful one, and – you guessed it -

May YOU be happy!    :)

Technorati Tags: ceremony, happiness, loving kindness, mindfulness, mindfulness strategies, native american, prayer ties, red road, sharon salzberg, stephanie nash

At this retreat, I stood, awaiting my turn, listening to others describe what their “specialty” was – one woman said she liked to work with eating & craving, another said she wanted to help everyone feel that they were enough just as they are, someone else said they liked working with specific techniques or themes, and so on.

I had already been introduced & pointed out (more than enough) as one of the two people who would be assuming Shinzen’s teaching responsibilities for the first few days as we await his delayed arrival, and wondered if I needed to say anything and/or if it would be helpful since I would undoubtedly be working with everything and/or anything.

And what I ended up saying was something that a student of mine in Santa Monica had recently said to me – that I made mindfulness fun.  So I said something like, “Hi, I’m Stephanie, and I love Shinzen’s teachings and know his techniques inside & out and can hopefully help clarify & guide – but I also like to make it fun.”

Then I remembered & shared what Shinzen had said to me once.  We were on retreat, and before a big group meditation Shinzen & I were discussing something we were going to do, and I told him that I had come up with a way of using a couple of his techniques that I thought was cool.  He liked it alot and said he was going to use that in his guidance during the meditation session that followed.

Afterward the session, we talked about it and I told him that I actually present it differently than he did and I explained how I did it – to which Shinzen responded, “Oh, I see – you’re making it entertaining!”  He then confided,  ”I don’t do that.  I make it academic.  I like the rigor of the scientific method.”   (I responded with a smile, “I know.” )

After sharing his quote with our group here, the retreatants who knew Shinzen laughed in recognition of our eccentric, scientific and brilliant teacher.

Later, during a break, a young man came up to me and asked with intense interest, “How do you make it fun?”  It was as if he couldn’t fathom how someone could do that.  I laughed as I could imagine what his first experience with Shinzen’s techniques must be like – daunting, for sure.

(And I will grant that someone new to meditation or even someone w o meditates and is just looking for a nice mellow retreat – has come to the wrong place if they land here.  At a Shinzen retreat, you roll up your sleeves and get to business with precision, clarity & commitment.  Amazing progress happens here – but you ain’t sitting beside a pool or napping, you’re working.)

So I looked at this young man, who eagerly was awaiting my “secret” to making this practice fun – and I couldn’t think of a secret.  It just seemed natural to me.  I told him, “I think it is all just so fascinating and I communicate that.”   I mean, to suddenly have a rich multi-layered experience of visual, auditory & somatic experience makes life this amazing spontaneous symphony – with access to an ultimate freedom that….well, is kind of the whole point.

I remembered realizing quite early on in my mindfulness training that “I’ll never be bored again!” –   and that “there’s no such thing as waiting” – i.e. there’s ALWAYS some aspect of our sensory experience & perception that is interesting to explore (which is really a more complete picture of what was actually happening in any given moment.)  Isn’t that fascinating?  Who wouldn’t want to do that?  And yes, I find it interesting & fun – and ultimately satisfying

Speaking of which, my lunch break is now over and I now return to an afternoon of such fun, looking forward to the long-awaited arrival of our teacher, and the long awaited arrival of my silence!   I now burrow in to take care of myself (& thus others) in the best way I know how – tuning into the richness of the moment.  There is no better way to start a new year.  Deep work – that is, yes, fun.

Technorati Tags: clarity, fun, meditation, mindfulness, retreat, Shinzen Young, stephanie nash

When asked by my students & private clients who were coming if I’d have private sessions with them while here, I said, “Maybe not.”  I explained this was the one retreat for myself and I was going to lay low, keep my head down, go private – and ogger in.  Silence!  Ah, I can just taste it.

Then, the day before the retreat I get a call from Shinzen, saying that due to the storm, Euclid, that hit the East coast, he would – for the first time in his 40+ year teaching career – not be able to make it until a few days in to the retreat.  He needed me and a colleague of his to step in and teach in his place

This was going to be 3 times the teaching duties that I normally have on working retreat, and without batting an eye, I said, “Of course, I’ll do whatever you need.”  There was no question, and I knew that my experience & history of practice would support me & others.  My fantasies of silence went the way of Impermanence.

We’re now on the 3rd day of the retreat – a retreat that is overflowing beyond capacity – and not only is it running smoothly, but everyone is getting way more attention than they normally would.  Soryu and I are taking over Shinzen’s duties, while Shinzen did guided meditations over the phone to 15 people yesterday – that’s 15 more than would normally have happened.  Everyone is thoroughly taken care of.

He will arrive tomorrow and I’ll get a couple days of silence (although now I’m a “go to” person for people with questions – so keeping those boundaries – with kindness & compassion for all – will be my challenge.  That is, in fact, always my challenge – so how great to be able to examine that dynamic in a retreat setting.)

So this “teacher-less” retreat seems actually to be a “teacher-ful” one.  As everyone stepped up to the plate – with ease, generosity, and open hearts.  A lovely environment.  (Plus there are peacocks in full bloom wandering throughout the retreat – that’s nice, too.)

Technorati Tags: equanimity, meditation, mindfulness, retreat, Shinzen Young, teacher, teaching

And the more I thought of it, the more I realized that I might have meditated a lot longer ago if someone had offered it like that.

So here’s “How to Meditate in a Hurry“:

1. STOP.  Just for a brief second.  A second won’t make that big of a different in whatever you are doing.  Maybe even 5 seconds.  And simply stop.  Dead in your tracks.
2. Close your eyes & BREATHE.  Feel your body and take a good deep breath in as if you can feel the oxygen satisfying the body.  You can tune into the sensations of breathing, if you like.
3. Let thoughts go, just focus on the BODY.  What do you FEEL right now?  That includes touches, pressure of body in chair, feet on floor – as well as physical sensations associated with emotions.
4. DON’T try to CHANGE or JUDGE whatever you feel, just breathe & feel it  - with acceptance, without resistance.  Let go of how you think things should feel – and really notice what you do feel in this moment.

You’ve now spent, maybe, 60 seconds.

If it feels good, you may continue if you wish.

Take it 2-3 times a day and call me in the morning.

Yes, you can Meditate in a Hurry.

Technorati Tags: 60 second meditation, acceptance, breath meditation, how to meditate, meditate for stress, meditate in a hurry, mindfulness, practical mindfulness, quick meditation, relaxation, short meditations, strategic mindfulness, stress reduction

Technorati Tags: benefits of mindfulness, coaching, mindfulness, processing emotions, psychotherapy, stephanie nash, therapy

I was kneeling and wasn’t much more than a foot from her (after being guided to that position by the hands of assistants.)

As I had been watching her, happily hugging everyone who had been waiting in line, I could not help smiling.  I especially enjoyed her with the babies and children of the people in front of me.   (There was a long queue for this saint’s hug but everything in this room was painless, including the line.)  Her love was for all and freely given, with great joy and compassion.  What a great way to use one’s energy.

I noticed that many of those around her were not smiling, but then they were conscientiously attending to taking care of her.  They clearly took that responsibility seriously but not in a heavy or unpleasant way, they were just not smiling as they were focused on the task at hand (which was usually ushering people in various directions quickly, efficiently and kindly.)

Most helpers were young, but there was older Indian man (with a face full of character you just want to photograph) behind her. He was focused but not looking at anything (more like through it) and he quickly took the things that people gave her out of her way.  She was there simply for the hug.  All else could be removed.

But Amma, the saint for whom all had come – often called “Mother”, had enough joy for all.  Her smile and happiness were easy and natural – and not without wisdom.

As my turn came and she turned to me, my wide smile met hers and she pulled me to her.  My head naturally landed facing away from her on her right shoulder, but she quickly and adeptly turned it so that I was face into the mother.

She was a mountain.  She was air.  She was the fulfillment of a mother’s embrace.  There was nothing but her beneath me and around me, she was everywhere – her white robes and big soft body enveloped me.  Ok, yes, that’s sounding poetic, but I mean it literally.  She surrounds you and holds you the way every child wants to be held, it’s the ultimate “It’s all right” nurturing assurance.

I then realized that my arms were wrapped around her.  A rather intimate act with a total stranger but it felt natural and, well … good.  Later, it struck me that the way I opened to her was the way my soft puppy opens to me when I envelope him, the way babies open to their mothers.

(As I had been waiting in line I hadn’t thought about where my arms or hands would go when she hugged me.  I guess I had seen some drape themselves around her neck and others it seemed were being totally cradled like children, but I never considered what my physical relationship with her would be.  I had been simply sitting in the line with this huge smile on my face, enjoying the beautiful exchange that was unfolding before me.  Hugs were happening – they were needed and perfectly met.)

So now, as I was enveloped in this total, complete, mother, loving hug, I joined this deep sound that was coming from her – I hummed a tone into the surrounding mass that was her – as she was chanting into me.  Her lips were near my ear and she kept repeating these syllables over and over and I could feel her vowels & “m” vibrating into me.

I remember being struck by the words, the sound, and the feeling, and minutes later, the sound of her chanting was still resonating through me.  The writer in me made a note about that word (to tell my friend who is one of the helpers, thinking that he might know more about it, what it means, etc.)

(Interesting that 10 minutes later, I could no longer remember what she said, and when I asked my friend, he said he can never remember what she chants either (which makes me think of the angel in “Saving Grace”, a TV show where no one could ever remember what the angel looked like.)

I could, however, remember the mental note I made to myself about the chant.  Interesting our brains:  I couldn’t remember the event, but I could remember thinking about the event – like memory once removed…or something.

What I do remember, and am thus inspired to write about, is the hug – the feeling of it, the ease of it, the completeness of it, and the sound of her voice – and finding myself joining it with a deep hum (like I do when hugging my dog – and sometimes people.)  Her sound was part of the big softness and mine was tinier by comparison, burrowed in there.

Then, after the longest time, a single very long breath, I think – I felt complete.  Message received.  It seemed to me that was much longer than she had held others but that didn’t matter.  I was fulfilled and grateful.

She took a breath, then pulled me in more deeply (if that’s possible) and then we rode another wave of vibration enveloped in this ultimate feel-good activity.  Wow.  This was already so much more than I had expected, my cup runneth over.

Then we were done.  First there was the enjoyment of just sitting in the line – followed by the enjoyment of a hug – and now this satisfying enjoyment of having hugged – all in exchange with pure spirit.  I loved how this woman shared her energy.  Brilliant.

She looked at me warmly.  I simply loved her and found myself putting my hands together for a quick bow while smiling so deeply.  And she returned my smile & nodded, and then gave me a chocolate kiss before turning her attention to the next person she was about to hug.

(By the way, she will do this non-stop from morning till night – and sometimes all through the night.  She’s a good hugger.  A professional.  Don’t try this at home.  Wait a minute – I take that back – DO try this at home!  Try it everywhere.  Hugs Are Us – can we make an app?)

Just as this saint turned to the next person, hands were on me and directing me.  Ah!  These kind hands belonged to those serious faces I had seen all around Amma.  I had to make an initial effort to focus on them (as, at that moment, I was drawn to focusing on my feelings), but I wanted these volunteering supporters to feel appreciated for what they do.  I smiled and joked softly with each, and saw each person I encountered smile back and soften – just a little.

And I thought, yes, each of us does what we can to make things better: I smile & joke, Amma hugs, and these young people support by volunteering to guide and keep order in a situation of mass quantities of people.

Yes, I was enjoying that we each find the thing that’s needed, that we can do – or that we feel drawn to do – always with the intention of helping people experience love.

I was hugged by a saint today.

Technorati Tags: amma, compassion, divine hug, hug, joy, love, Mata Amritanandamayi, mindfulness, mother, smile, stephanie nash

I told him a story that my teacher, Shinzen Young, often tells.  Early in Shinzen’s teaching career, when he had very few students, a man who was a psychiatrist complained of the same issue.  This doctor was extremely frustrated with his total inability to meditate even for a few minutes.  Every time he closed his eyes to meditate, he’d zonk out.

Shinzen asked him if he was really committed to working through it and the man said yes.  Shinzen then asked the doctor how much he charged for a psychiatric session and the doctor said $80.  (Yes, it was long ago.)  Shinzen said he would meet privately with the man for half that amount – every week for one hour – for one year.

So, once a week, they would meet and sure enough the man would fall asleep within seconds of closing his eyes and Shinzen, who was sitting across from him, would simply wake him up and remind him of the meditation focus.  Usually the entire hour was spent with Shinzen waking the man up every few minutes, saying something like, “Stay alert.  Bring the awareness back to [the breath or whatever the focus was.]”   They never did anything more, just sit, the man falls asleep, Shinzen wakes him up, repeat.

Then one day, towards the end of that year, the man reported that “a light went on” and his consciousness was permanently brighter – he had more clarity, insight, equanimity – and didn’t have the issue of falling asleep anymore.  Just like that.

For me, this story is similar to the metaphor of big waves crashing against a rocky cliff – for years – and then one day, a whole hunk of the cliff just falls away.  Was it the wave that hit the cliff that particular day that knocked down the rock?  Or was it the years of waves that led to a final letting go?

Here’s where the commitment to the long-term benefits, to the practice, to the potential for awakening – can yield much greater results than focusing on individual meditations, or peak experiences, or comparing one’s experience to someone elses.  Just let the waves do the work.  Just sit.  It doesn’t matter what happens in the meditation – it’s that you sat down and meditated.

Even if you are falling asleep but keep waking up and coming back without self-judgement, that can be a powerful practice.  [see story above]

You can think of meditation as creating an environment for the “deep mind” to sort itself out.  What we’re going for is a natural process, and we’re just trying to create an  environment in which it’s more likely to happen, and techniques that can act as catalysts.

So if you are falling asleep during meditation, and if you have tried the standard ways of staying awake – i.e. straighten the spine, open the eyes, or stand in place – see if you can find a way to wake up and bring your attention back to whatever the focus of your meditation is (and it might not hurt to have a very tangible focus that does not put you to sleep.  For some people, walking meditation is ideal in this scenario, and the placement of the feet on the ground can be the focus, other people find focusing on external sounds to be quite stimulating and helpful, and others always like returning to the breath.)

Their are many wonderful ways to direct your focus during meditation, but if you lose focus altogether and end up snoozing, you can give others permission to wake you or just bring your attention back when you can.  And know that the commitment and intention to work through it – along with creating the time and space to sit – makes it a noble, worthwhile endeavor.

Technorati Tags: falling asleep, mindfulness strategies, sleepiness during meditation

by Stephanie Nash

Hours after the end of a 10-day retreat, I was standing outside a restaurant in Southern California, talking to a young woman from New York who was interested in training to be a meditation teacher.

We had just come from a facilitator training and dinner that always happen after our retreats.  Everyone else had gotten in their cars and left by this time, but this young woman and I were still there talking passionately about some YouTube videos I had posted and the effects these videos had had on her students.

A man approached us in a way that I could see created a dynamic familiar to me during the 13 years I lived in New York City.  A dynamic that included body language of self-protection and possible aggression – definitely a checking of boundaries.

It all happened in an instant, but to me it seemed like it was in slow motion (– of course, I had just come from a rather concentrated 10-day retreat – where seeing things in slow motion could be considered a skill that we cultivate.)

When I saw her body so subtly contract and pull away, I saw him approach with a soft, confident, familiarity.  He wasn’t dirty but he wasn’t clean.  Dressed in jeans, t-shirt, older (40-50 yrs.), and a character of a face.  He had what seemed like a miniature helmet with him.

He said, “I’m on my scooter here, but my truck is up the street at a gas station, it needs _____ and I need $18.32 to get it fixed.  It was really $89 and I had the $60(?) and paid it, but need an extra $18.32 or they won’t give me my truck.”

We looked at him and I’m sure we both instantly came to the same conclusion.  We’d been New Yorkers and trained in such determinations.  We weren’t buying the story.

His body was a tad closer than appropriate for a stranger.  The young woman pulled away in a typical, strong New Yorker-way and then she said clearly that she didn’t have money on her.   She looked in his direction and held her body & purse in a way that clearly defined her boundaries.  I had been thus trained, as well.

But now, as I recognized that familiar pattern of thought/feeling/behavior where a controlled tension was key – and I more than understood it’s necessity for survival on the streets of New York and elsewhere, it didn’t seem to be happening with me at this time.

I felt like an observer to most of this – but again, did I mention that only hours earlier I’d finished a 10-day retreat?

Ok, so I don’t have any boundaries.  Hmmmmm, I’m guessing that could be a problem.  Doesn’t seem to be at the moment, but my linear mind makes a note.  Then I allow my awareness to flood into the man, the moment, me, this woman.  No boundaries made this easy, normal.

Now, let me say here that I do have a rule – about giving people money.

Actually, I got this from my teacher, Shinzen Young.  Whenever anyone asks him for money – he gives it.  Often to the point of not having any.  In fact, whenever I take him to a sweatlodge ceremony, I buy him his beloved burritos on the way home because he always gives all the money he has –  regardless of how much it is - to the spiritual leaders who offered the ceremony.

And I’m not sure when it started, but for years now, the way my rule works is that – whenever anyone asks for money – I give them a dollar or two.  No matter what.  Without fail.  (I made the mistake once of giving it to someone who didn’t ask, and won’t make that mistake again.)  I keep a roll of $1 bills in my car and look forward to opportunities to reach out, or roll down my window and hand someone a dollar and honestly wish them a good day.  It’s quite lovely actually.  I’m quite grateful to Shinzen for that practice.

So here I am in the parking lot outside of a restaurant, late at night, with a woman who wants this man to go away, a man who wants money and there’s a very good probability that this is just something he says to get money.   Plus there is something slightly insistent about this man – almost as if he thinks he deserves to have this money – and I know that both of us women strongly suspect he is lying.

But my accumulated mindfulness is able to easily track any remnant rising of sensations within me associated with suspicion, protection and still I am the observer – wondering what will happen next.

My natural instinct is to go for my role of $1 bills, but I know I don’t have it with me.   In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t have any bills with me.

I know that whatever my response will be, will be what takes this interaction in whatever direction it will go.  Where do I want it to go?  I don’t know.  I can’t think.  I’ve just spent days moving beyond the thinking process.  So I don’t.

(And everything I’ve described up to now happened in less than 2 seconds.)

So, I look in my wallet to see what’s there as I ask him a question about himself.  I’m sure the other woman is uncomfortable that I am looking in my purse (as any New Yorker would undoubtedly shake their head at such a naive & possibly unwise move.)

As I’m looking he answers my question and pulls out his driver’s license to prove he’s a real guy and encourages me to write down the info.

I’m still looking in my purse, but I say that’s not necessary and finally I find my wallet.  All I have is one $20 bill.  And in that moment, I remember that I’m going to need $10 in cash in the morning before I can get to the bank.

I stop for a moment as I look down at the lone $20 bill in my purse.

He then asks me what I do.  Not sure why he asked, but I look up at him and tell him I’m a meditation teacher.  He declares, “I’ve meditated before!”  He then describes a 5-10 minute period at the end of a yoga class, and another situation that I can see could be thought of as meditation.  These were apparently years ago.  He seems proud that we have something in common.

I then look at him and say, “You know, if you just close your eyes, take 3 deep breathes, feel what your body feels like, and then take 3 more deep breathes, that’s a meditation.  You ever do that?”

He said, “No, but I think I’d like to.”

I pull out the $20 bill and I hand it to him.

I said, “This should take care of your truck.”

He says, “Thank you so much!”    And he turns to go towards his scooter.

He waves the bill as he says, “I will pay you back …by passing this deed along!”

Interesting that he thinks in those terms.  That’s promising.

And I said, “You could pay me back by meditating every morning for 5 days.  Just close your eyes – take 3 breathes, feel your body, and then take 3 more breaths.   You think you could do that?”

I see him honestly consider this odd request.  Then, almost like a child, he says, “Yeah, I think I can.”  He then happily mounted his scooter with a purpose.

I said, “That’s all the payment I need.  3 breaths, eyes closed, 5 days.”  After another moment, I say, ” Can you remember to do that?”

He says, “Yes, I can – 5 days, 3 breaths!”

“Good!”  I say, “Thank you!  That’s more than worth my investment.”

He waved & drove his scooter off – as he called out “I will, I promise!”  and I called after him, “Yes, Meditate!” – because I wanted him to hear those words last.

And I felt this joy (which I now know to be mudita) at this most productive encounter…. while  I felt sure the woman I was with probably felt surprised and whatever other feeling flavors when I pulled out the $20 bill.  But then, I was the senior teacher and who knows, maybe she was also taking notes.  No matter.

Who knows what that man will do with that $20 or if he will meditate…this time.  But it felt to me, anyway, that some tiny thing had shifted for him – and he might not understand or even notice, but  my only hope was that he will check it out at some time – now or in the distant future – or that it just naturally has some tiny good affect on him or those he encounters.

Regardless, I cannot express enough my the satisfaction & fulfillment from that investment of $20.  Money well spent.

Signed…

A Meditation Teacher