So much has happened in my life. First know that my mother is doing
well. Her cancer has not returned as of yet and I've spent a lot of
time with her.
Meanwhile, I fell in love and suffered (yet another) heartbreak. Even
though my life has become stable again, there's lots of things going
on... friends with health issues, my own possible health issues, etc.,
But I wanted to tell you something. Through everything, I've been
listening to your meditation CD's CONSTANTLY for months. In the
morning as I'm dressing. When I'm in the car, and as I fall asleep at
night. They have surely kept me from emotional disaster.
So, this is what I really wanted to tell you: last night, during a
meditation...it suddenly hit me...and has been coming in for days
now...on a BODILY level...what you've been saying all
"Suffering is an option."
I ....I didn't really get it before!!! I mean...I understood it
intellectualy and thought it was a powerful thing to hear.
Nevertheless, I thought you meant long-term. Or, if you work very hard,
you might be in less pain someday. I didn't realize that it's meant
RIGHT NOW. THIS VERY MOMENT, I HAVE A CHOICE TO SUFFER OR NOT. I'm not
explaining this well, I know. But the beauty is ....YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN! Okay. I'm laughing out loud right now. Maybe you're laughing
too. Because it's like finally getting one of those magic eye puzzles
for me. I get it that any thought that comes into my head that causes
me pain....IS OPTIONAL!!!! I have a choice to be present or not.
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! I get it I get it I get it!!!
This........changes......everything. And make no mistake, I'm crying
over it too. Crying over the wasted time. Crying over missing half my
life living in the future or the past, obsessing over this or that.
What a waste. What a loss.
But, I just wanted you to know that I get it. I thought you should
know. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for being alive on the
planet to deliver the most important message I've ever received.
P.S. When's your next class?